Blue Eyes and Golden Grain
by courderouge2006
Summary: How does a fine, upstanding, pillar of the community like Sheriff Kent deal with relationship problems? With a bar tab, and his partner in crime Deputy Whitney of course. Based in the Sheriff Kent AU. Enjoy.


This came to me after a night out in the woods with some buddies and a couple of coolers. No action, plenty of interaction. Hope you enjoy.

--

Lana slowly stepped down the stairs, hearing noise at the front door. Whitney was still out and Kyle was asleep in his room. Tightening her robe she looked around and finally grabbed an umbrella out of the stand near the front door. Grabbing the phone she started dialing for help when she heard something.

Craning her neck she listened closer, and walked to the peephole to confirm her suspicions. Sighing loudly, she unlocked the door and let it swing open… right before Clark Kent landed on his face in her doorway with his hand on a key in the lock… followed by her husband tipping over and landing on top of him.

Clark slurred, "See Whitney? Told you that lock wasn't gonna beat me." Clark pushed himself up to his unsteady feet and wavered, then looked around. "Wow, my house looks different at night." His eyes settled on her, the umbrella clutched between her crossed arms and the less than pleased look on her face. "Holy hell Whitney, when did I get a Lana for my place? I don't remember that."

Whitney crawled over to grab a chair and pulled himself up, finally getting to where he could sit backwards in it. He looked over at his wife and winced. "Oh you're screwed man. When my Lana looks like that it means she is piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed."

Tapping her foot, Lana looked between the two men. "First, this isn't your house Clark. This is ours."

He looked at her and then back at his hand. "No wonder my key didn't work."

She glared at her husband. "Second, I am YOUR Lana, and you're right about that look mister."

Whitney groaned. "Bossman, we were supposed to hide at your place. How did you screw this up?"

"I didn't do nothing, you were the one who gave the cabby the address."

"How could you let me do that, you know I'm drunk, I don't know what I was telling him!"

Lana hit both of them with the umbrella. "Kyle is asleep, keep your voices down."

A voice from upstairs got their attention. "Mommy, are daddy and Uncle Clark ok?"

The two men didn't move. They looked like deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck… named Lana.

Lana turned back to the stairs. "They're fine baby, they're just… tired."

"Is that why they were on the floor?"

She set her jaw before she glared at the two of them again. "Yes sweety, that's why. Go back to bed, and you can talk to them in the morning."

Kyle waved from the top of the stairs. "Night daddy, night Uncle Clark. Love you."

"Night buddy, love you too."

"Sleep sweet son, love you Lyle…"

"Kyle."

"Love you Kyle."

She walked toward the kitchen, muttering to herself.

As she started brewing the coffee, the two idiots managed to stumble their way in behind her. Of course, Whitney had to use the chair as a walker before setting it down in front of the counter where Clark sat at one of the stools. Whitney's head and shoulders barely poked over the top of the counter.

"So what led to this little adventure for you two?" Lana took the creamer out of the fridge and reached above the stove to get the honey she knew Clark used in his coffee.

"My best friend was having a bad night, and he called me, and I went to Metropolis to be there for my friend when he needed me. I think I deserve a medal."

Lana sighed. "Please tell me that you two, as Officers of the Law, weren't stupid enough to drive home?"

Clark shook his head. "Nope, we took a cab."

She looked to Whitney. "A cab? From Metropolis? Do you know how expensive that is?"

Whitney held his hands up. "Baby, don't worry about it. I lifted bossman's wallet and gave the driver his card, he paid for it." He winked at her, grinning.

Clark shook his head. "Nope, that was your wallet. You told me to hold it after you blew fifty bucks at the little slot machine at the bar."

Whitney's eyes went wide and he reached into his front pocket where he'd put the wallet and grumbled. "Damn it is mine."

Lana rolled her eyes. "So why did you go out to Metropolis to drink with Clark?"

"Him and Lois got in a fight. A big one."

She turned back quickly, her face looking sympathetic for the first time since they fell in the door. "Oh Clark, I'm sorry. What happened?"

He sighed. "Well you know a couple weeks ago we were at lunch and I arrested that Titan guy?"

Whitney scoffed. "That was one big mother fu…"

"Whitney, language!" Lana whispered harshly. She turned back to Clark. "Please continue."

He picked up a napkin, tearing at the corners as he released a big breath. "Well, I wanted to make it up to her and go out for a really nice dinner. So I went to pick her up in Metropolis tonight, and we were at that restaurant on the top floor, some weird name. And we were talking and eating and you know who showed up?"

Lana shook her head. "Oh god Clark, don't tell me you got into a wild fight arresting someone at a five star restaurant?"

"No. I didn't get into a fight up there. Not like that at least."

Lana sighed. "Well who showed up?"

Clark was still ripping at the napkin and staring down at the counter.

"Clark, what happened?"

Whitney snickered, finally speaking up. "It was Alicia."

Lana went wide-eyed. "Alicia? As in… caught in your room mostly naked Alicia? Now a lauded and published therapist Alicia?"

Clark just nodded.

Lana huffed. "Wow. Well, at least Lois doesn't know some of the more embarrassing details."

"Ohhh yes she does. Mama Kent filled her in back when she was staying at the farm a long time ago. I heard 'em while Clark was out working in the barn one day."

Biting her lip, Lana made an unpleasant noise. "That's… well Clark, I'm sure Lois realizes that all of that is in the past."

"It would help if Alicia hadn't given me a big hug and then a quick kiss."

Lana dropped the mug she was holding, catching it before it hit the counter. "Oh wow. How did Lois take that?"

Clark stared up at her. "How do you think she took it?"

"I think she probably wanted to grab Alicia by the hair and whip her to the floor." Whitney finally managed to graduate himself up to a normal bar stool. "Oh man, could you imagine a catfight between them? In a restaurant?"

Lana glared at her husband, but she noticed Clark start smiling, a dreamy faraway look in his eye. She sighed. "Boys."

Whitney leaned over, whispering louder than he meant to. "You imagining the chocolate sauce?"

Clark shook his head. "No, strawberries and cream."

Whitney smiled even bigger, and then he looked like he had a great idea. "Chocolate AND strawberries and cream."

Clark laid his head on the counter, laughing. "Oh ho ho ho that sounds awesome."

Whitney turned toward him. "And you know the rules if a catfight breaks out?"

Clark nodded. "Don't break it up, get it on my camera and e-mail it to you ASAP."

Whitney clapped him on the back. "That's my boy."

Lana slapped the counter. "Hey, idiots. No matter what you think up in your perverted little dreams, women will never wrestle in a kiddy pool filled with strawberries and fudge, got it?" She pointed at Whitney. "And I found your dirty little DVD, it's already gone. So now you shouldn't even be having those thoughts anymore."

Whitney held his hands up. "Baby, I didn't order that, it just came in the mail. Why would I need one of those, I have you."

She gave him a knowing look, and turned back to Clark. "So what happened then?"

Clark grunted. "Alicia went back to her table and Lois was just… quiet."

Lana hissed. "Owww, not good."

He shook his head. "Nope. So, we were having a quiet meal, and then Alicia came back to introduce her date, she thought we'd like to meet him."

"Who was she there with?"

Clark took a deep breath and Lana could see his shoulders tense up. "Clark? What happened?"

Whitney interjected himself again. "It was Bruce Wayne. And guess who at that table happened to have a little crush on Mr. Gotham?"

Lana's eyes went wide. "No! Lois?"

Clark just nodded. "She was… blushing and giggling. He kissed her hand and she was just… it was weird. She's never acted like that around me. Course I'm not a jillionaire. Just a cop."

Lana touched his hand. "Clark you know that's not true. Maybe even Lois gets star struck, it's not a big issue."

He blew his breath out. "Well, the rest of the meal was weird. And we were in the parking lot and I tried to hold her hand, and she asked why I hadn't told Alicia we were dating."

"You didn't introduce them?"

"I didn't get a chance to! Lois stood up and introduced herself, she didn't say anything either, just acted all sweet. And next thing I knew Alicia was gone, I really didn't get a chance it was all such a surprise." He groaned. "And then I asked her why she was flirting with the rich guy. She said she wasn't and I asked why she acted like a schoolgirl with a crush."

Whitney's head was laid on top of his arms on the counter and he chuckled. "Hmmm schoolgirl Lois."

Clark smacked the back of his head and Lana hit the top with a wooden spoon. Whitney sat back up, rubbing both spots and grumbling.

Lana shook her head. "There goes that outfit now."

Clark's eyes went wider, staring between the two of them before he shook his head quickly, trying to clear those thoughts out... and had to grab at the counter to keep himself from falling to the floor in a dizzy daze. "Anyway, she said she hadn't been flirting, he was just being nice. And I said Alicia was too. And she said 'well at least I never got caught in my bedroom with Bruce Wayne by my parents', and I said 'that'd be kind of hard since your dad was never around' and she looked pissed and just left."

Lana shook her head. "Oh Clark. Why did you say that?"

"I didn't do anything wrong. I was shocked 'cause an old friend popped up, you know Alicia and me were actually friends, not just that one mistake."

She nodded. "I know that, but Lois is… Clark, like you said, she didn't have the most stable environment growing up. She was on Army bases, she had very little female influence in her life growing up."

"So why does Wayne get that reaction, and me, her boyfriend, doesn't? Why does she fawn over him and I'm just… I'm just there?" He looked up at Lana, and she could see the confusion and hurt on his face.

Turning back to pour the coffee, Lana sighed. "I honestly don't know Clark. Like I said, it's been different for Lois. Honestly, do you think there was anything there between her and Bruce? Any chemistry?"

Taking a few moment, Clark finally shook his head. "No, I don't think that match would ever go over well."

Lana nodded. "Ok, so why are you so worried?"

"It was just… that's the first time I've seen her react to a guy like that, any guy. When she met Whitney she started making fun of his hair."

"She's just jealous because mine shines so brightly, like a golden sunrise, or dandelions in the sun. And hers are just highlights."

Clark stared back at his deputy, shaking his head slowly. "Never… ever… say anything like that again, or I'll put you out of my misery."

Lana was even staring at her husband with a slightly scared expression. "I second that."

Whitney put his head back down on his arms. "At least Lyle still loves me."

"Not if he heard you talk like that." Clark snickered and held his hand up for a high five, which Lana returned.

Whitney stumbled to his feet, stripping his shirt off. "Screw this, I'm gonna go take a shower." They heard him take a few steps up the stairs before a lot of bumping and a loud thud. "Second thought, I'm gonna use the guest bath down here baby."

Lana shook her head yet again. "So, that's the real reason behind this then? You're jealous."

He took the coffee she offered him, then grabbed for the honey. "I'm not jealous. I helped bring down a dangerous crime boss. I brought in a serial killer. I broke an environmental disaster before it had time to poison half of Lowell County. Why would I be jealous Lana?"

She shook her head, grinning. "Because the real Clark Kent doesn't brag about those things. He doesn't live off of what he's done, he lives for what can still be done. And because even though he did all of that in the last few months, he still sees himself as a small town farm boy in the middle of a big world game. You're not some… cocky asshole Clark. You're a good man. You took Kyle to his baseball tournament when Whitney was still recovering from surgery two days after that sting, and I know you were still hurting pretty badly yourself, don't deny it."

Clark just grumbled.

"For some reason you're bound and determined to not see the good in yourself, no matter how many of us do see it. And that is really annoying, let me tell you."

He sighed, not looking up.

Lana moved around and sat on the stool Whitney left vacant. "Clark, you are a good guy. You need to stop holding yourself to these impossible standards. I mean come on, when you came back and ran for sheriff against Ethan, you saved this town single handedly. You helped my family above and beyond all normal means, and that's just us. How many people do you think would have given Whitney that job, let alone made him second in command, when he was still in a wheelchair from his hip injury?"

Clark took a swig of the coffee. "Whitney deserved that job, no one else could do it better. Hell, he deserves my job."

Lana grinned and patted Clark's arm. "I love my husband, but honestly Clark we both know he isn't the brightest crayon in the box. Whitney will put everything he has into following those he trusts, but he's the first to tell you he has no desire to be in charge. Why do you think he was so eager to give up on football? He didn't want everyone depending on him to lead a team, he wasn't willing to take the grief for something as unimportant as that."

Clark took another swallow before he turned to her. "I don't… she's so important to me. What if I messed this up?"

Lana held back her smile. Clark hadn't admitted this much as far as she knew. "Why is she so important to you Clark?"

He shook his head. "I don't… I don't really know. She just… she's annoying, and infuriating, and she keeps pushing my buttons. She's not like anyone around here, not like any other woman I've met."

"Well maybe that's it then. She's not like the rest of us who drooled over Clark Kent back in high school."

He laughed loudly. "You never did that."

Lana shrugged. "I admit that there were a few times that I started to wonder what if…?"

He turned to face her. "Then why didn't you say something?"

She shook her head. "Please Clark, you and me? That would have most likely destroyed you and Whitney, and everyone knew you two were brothers. And the two of us wouldn't have been good together. All awkward and lots of tension. It would have probably been one of those on again off again things that lasted for years. Who wants to see something like that?"

Clark nodded. "Yea, I guess you're right. Besides, it would have just been…" he shuddered.

Lana's eyebrow perked. "Why would it have been…?" she copied his shudder.

He smiled as he looked back to her. "You're nice Lana, and really sweet. But I mean… you're just…" He leaned back and gave her the once over. "No way."

Her mouth dropped open. "And what's that supposed to mean? What's wrong with me?"

"You're short."

Lana stared at him in shock and then slapped his arm as hard as she could. "I am not!"

"Shhh, Kyle's asleep." Clark held a finger over his lips and pointed up to the ceiling.

Lana gritted her teeth. "How can you say that I'm short?"

"Cause you are. You're like… here on me." He held a hand up to just below his shoulder.

She hit him again. "That's not true. You and Whitney are almost the same height, and I go up to his chin."

Clark shook his head. "Only when you're wearing tall shoes. Why do you think he's actually willing to go shopping with you? He thinks your ass looks good in heels."

Lana switched to her "awww" face she kept reserved for new babies and Kyle's art drawn up on the fridge. "He said that?"

Clark nodded. "Trust me, I've had to hear about it enough."

Lana smiled… and suddenly her face twisted again. "That… that butthead. There was this gorgeous pair of flats I wanted last month and he talked me out of them!"

Clark started chuckling, trying to hold it in.

"Oh well you can tell him he's sleeping on the couch mister. And so are you Clark Kent!"

Clark looked back at her. "Why? Why can't I crash in the guest room?"

"Because you two and your little catfight agreements and your secrets about heels, and drinking and leaving me here by myself while you're out having a great time." She kept talking as she walked around to the sink, pouring the rest of the coffee out. "And you can make your own coffee in the morning mister!"

Clark watched her walk up the stairs and sighed. Finishing his coffee he put the mug in the sink and stumbled into the living room again. Pulling his shirt over his head, it got caught around his head and he stumbled, falling back over the sofa and landing on it roughly. "Ow." Tossing the shirt away, he rolled onto his side and fluffed the throw pillow.

Whitney came stumbling out of the downstairs bathroom, wet footsteps accompanying him.

"You're crashing down here. And we're both banned from the guest room."

Whitney chuckled, leaning over the back of the sofa. "Hey, this is my house buddy. I'm the King of my castle. I just gotta butter up the queen and I'm in like Flynn baby. Enjoy the couch."

Clark heard him stumble up the stairs, it took a good while. After a few more minutes he heard someone slowly navigating the stairs back down, muttering to themselves. Whitney walked into the living room, cussing. "Had to tell her 'bout the damn shoes didn't you?"

Clark laughed into the pillow.

"Alright, get up. You get me kicked out of my bed, you take the loveseat, I get the couch."

Clark didn't move. "Sleep in the recliner, moron. It reclines."

Whitney walked over and fell into the chair. It was quiet for a few moments before… "Hey boss, how does it…?"

"The lever on the side." He heard the recliner spring out and Whitney sighed happily.

"Thanks. Love ya buddy."

Clark shook his head. "Love you too. And hey Whitney? Thanks."

"Anytime. I'm always there for you Mark…"

"Clark."

"Always there for you Clark."

--

The smell of coffee was the first thing he noticed. Clark opened his eyes slowly, sunlight boring straight into his brain. "Oh god… ow."

He heard footsteps, loud footsteps, and then the light dimmed. "Thanks Lana."

"Close, but no cigar."

His eyes snapped open and he saw Lois sitting on the coffee table, holding a coffee cup. "Hey… what are you doing here?"

"I called her. It seemed like a better idea than trying to get you in shape to go back to Metropolis this morning." Lana stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

Clark nodded. "Thanks." He sat up slowly, rubbing his head and looked over to see Whitney in the recliner, upside down and face down. His feet stuck up above the top of the chair and his head was propped on the foot rest. And he was naked. "Whitney?"

"Yea bossman?" came out very muffled against the chair.

"Where are your clothes?"

Whitney was quiet for a bit, still not moving. "Hell if I know."

Lois laughed. "Nice buns there Jarhead."

"Thank you Lois."

Lana shook her head and walked to the closet to grab a blanket, coming back to drape it over him. "Thankfully Kyle was still sleepy when I took him to Tommy's house to play. He didn't notice daddy's naked shame."

"Never heard you complain before honey."

She smacked him hard through the blanket. "Whitney Clarence Fordman, get upstairs so Clark and Lois can talk."

He grumbled and fell off the chair, quickly standing up and pulling the blanket around him. "Fine fine. I'm going."

Lana and Whitney climbed the stairs, leaving the other two alone.

Lois sat back and sighed. "How do you feel?"

He rubbed the back of his head. "Like crap."

"Lana gave me the rundown, but what did you get into last night?"

He sighed. "Just… I was upset. Worried. Called Whitney to talk and when he got there I was already a few drinks in. And then he had a couple. And then that became a challenge, and that ended with two shots of golden grain, and by the time we got here I could at least see again."

Lois shook her head. "Why didn't you call me?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Because we were fighting."

"Clark… yea ok, maybe we were. But it was stupid. I don't even get why you were upset."

He sat back against the sofa. "The way you acted around Bruce."

She rolled her eyes. "Ok yes, maybe I was in a little bit of awe. He's Bruce Wayne. He's famous. Anyone would have that reaction."

Clark sighed, rubbing his hands together. "You've never… never even acted close to that around me."

Lois stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, after everything we've been through… you've never even looked at me like that. Like you were… amazed. Or even… like there was that feeling there. That crush kind of feeling." He looked at the table, not feeling like he could meet her eye right then.

"So… you're jealous of Bruce? Because you think I reacted to him a certain way?"

Clark sighed, rubbing his face in his hands. "Never mind it doesn't matter."

Lois reached up and pulled his hands away. "No Clark, we need to talk this through."

He finally looked up to her. "Alright."

Lois sighed. "If you think I've never looked at you like that, in an 'amazed' way, then maybe it's because you were busy trying to catch the guy in that SUV, after you just managed to dodge an entire city and not lose him, and then jumped a truck off a bridge without killing us. That was pretty amazing."

He was surprised to hear that from her. "Really?"

She nodded. "And as for a crush? Maybe that's because by the… oh… fourth or fifth time you actually stopped me from getting killed, you know with the gun toting fake cable guy, I was rushing way past a crush on you Sheriff Kent."

Clark's lip twitched a little, a grin breaking out. "Now you're just trying to make me feel better."

She shook her head. "You know me well enough by now, you know I don't pull punches just to appease someone's ego."

He chuckled, nodding his head.

She smiled. "As for Wayne, maybe I had a fan girl moment, but that's it. I could never be with a guy like that. Always on the front page, flashing his money around? Give me a good ol' boy anytime."

Clark smiled and pulled her to him, pulling her into his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around her.

Lois snuggled up into his lap, nuzzling his neck. "And before you say it, yes maybe I was a little jealous of Blondie last night."

Clark laughed. "Knew it."

She lifted her head. "Well come on, all I've heard is stories about how your dad busted you with her in your room, half naked in bed. That kind of thing tends to make me green eyed and sharpen my claws."

Clark smiled. "Don't worry Lois, I'm sure someone will bust in on us eventually. Then even that story will belong to you."

She didn't say anything, just laying her head down on his shoulder again.

Clark stroked his hand along her arm slowly, looking down at the woman in his arms… and then stood up, carrying her with him.

Lois looked around. "Where are we going?"

Clark didn't say a word as he pushed the door to the guest bathroom open with his foot. The door shut again quickly.

"Smallville, you bad, bad… well at least we know liquor doesn't affect one area of you."

--

Whitney came downstairs fully dressed and only slightly hung-over. "Bossman? Lana wanted me to ask if you guys wanted to get brunch, we can head back to get our cars. Bossman?" He walked into the kitchen but didn't see anyone. Walking back through the living room, he heard the downstairs shower going.

Knocking on the door quickly, Whitney poked his head in. "Bossman, Lana wanted me to ask… WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AWWW MAN THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR PLA… CLARK! PUT THE LOOFAH DOWN!"

--

Hope you enjoyed, please review, and hey if you liked it tell your friends! If you didn't tell them anyway, maybe they have better taste in fanfiction.


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